Okay friends - I could use a little help here...
In regards to the hurricane victims in the south, I have now twice dealt with people in town who have commented to me about people from that area coming to Michigan. One person was a construction worker in our house who was working on a project for us, the other was one of our neighbors who is older and has been very kind to us. The gist of the comments each time has been about the "blacks coming to Bay City." The construction guy said something like, "Now they're bringing a bunch of those blacks here. Oh, I got nothing against them, but I don't know why they have to bring them here." And the neighbor, commenting that a house in the area was a HUD house said, "They're going to be bringing hurricane victims here. There'll be blacks in the neighborhood." (At last look, our neighborhood is mostly white, but not without some variety of race/ethnicity.)
Honestly, at first I am so shocked by their comments I don't know what to say. Then all these thoughts go rushing through my head about weighing out the value of the relationship and what would be the "right" response in a situation like this. My gut feeling is to tell them to go f*ck themselves and that I'd sooner have a "black" neighbor than a white racist in my home or next door. But, I bite my tongue. Should I respond? What should my response be? Is the relationship that important that I should be swallowing the bile of this racism? Can anything I say really even make a difference? Do I need to make a difference or just be true to myself? Is there a difference between these two?
At the very least, I can change the subject a bit by commenting that I have family who live in New Orleans. That seems to be enough to disarm the situation for them to think about that, or, in the case of the neighbor, I just looked at him, and looked at other neighbors sitting there as well. The silence was thick, but I still am not satisfied it was enough. Grabbing him by the throat, I suppose, would have been too much. But it is now what I envision myself doing. I don't think I am so mad at him as much I am at myself for not saying/doing something more.
But, what?
1 comment:
This is Linz not Ian, but you are right, it sucks but it seems like saying nothing and biting your tongue is saying that what they have said is okay. But it's hard to think on your feet when you're on you ass from shock. I know the moment has past, but I would have said something like, well I've lived in a big city and I've live in smallville and I much rather the diversity of the city, it makes us all better people :) My gut feeling is when people say things like that, they don't think them through very well. I have a hard time believing that people are THAT racist. And when no one has challened them before, this first time would hopefully be contemplating not something to disown someone over. Nor are they probably smart enough to realize they are supposed to be mad! :)
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