In class with my students yesterday, they were coming up with topics for argument that they will research in groups and debate orally in class as well as write a paper. Listing topics on the board, to no surprise: "Gay marriage is degrading to our country." closely followed by another group's contribution: "Gay marriage should be legal." Clearly, we would have two sides in this argument...
I stopped including gay issues in my course content years ago. Not because I don't think it's important, but because I got tired of fighting. Ten years ago, the ignorance regarding gay issues was off the chart, even in larger, urban areas and supposedly "cool" places like Portland, Oregon (yes, gay ignorance on the west coast - hard to believe, init?). But more than any of that, which I felt I could whittle away at with basic education, I tired of the treatment students gave to one another on the issue.
To be gay is to be invisible, in many ways. And in some ways, this may be desirable to the person who is gay. But, making the object invisible makes it much easier to treat with disparity and disregard, disrespect and even downright hostility. Students do not know who among their peers is gay. None of them would dare own up to, let alone research and publicly argue, that mixed racial marriages are degrading to our country - and most especially if there were actually a student of color in my class (which is rare in our remote, rural area). But, you know what, they don't all buy this argument. They didn't grow up in a world that didn't allow mixed racial couples. Certainly, the attitude still persists, and some of them are no doubt coming from some deeply racist families, but they don't fight this one publicly.
It was just over ten years ago when I first began teaching. One of the articles we used for argument - from our textbook - took the position that women should not be allowed to fight in combat. The author researched and supported his claims and reasons - focusing on the lack of physical strength of women, the emotionality, the sexual distraction they would cause, and, ultimately, that put into a capture situation, a male soldier would break and give information if he were to have to witness his female counterpart being raped, because men have such a strong natural tendency to protect their women (as property? - because the rising dv statistics in our country have never proven otherwise).
I stopped using that particular article in my classes because I couldn't stand to hear students - male and female alike - sitting there arguing the theorized abilities, or lack thereof, of women. I couldn't tolerate the kinds of truly ignorant statements that were coming out of their mouths - about me. As a woman. How ruthless, how desensitized they had become to the human factor in their positions. But, what else had they known their whole lives - having grown up in this culture? And how much of that could I fight to change in a three-week session on argument? Not a lot.
And so I grew tired. Of this. Of gay issues in the classroom. How must it feel to be a gay student in the class while others argue your existence as a moral abomination? As less than? As inferior? No, I just don't feel I can do it.
Monday students are going to pick topics, and I can put gay marriage on the board or not. After the last elections, but maybe also because of them - and not only here, but looking at what other countries are doing (most notably Canada) - maybe it is time to give it another chance. I guess it will all depend on just how rested I feel when I walk into class...
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