Who Would Complain About a Day Off?

I'm sure you'll know the answer to this without having to read any further, but, yep, it would be me. I don't want a day off.

I know it seems hard to believe, but there are a number of reasons for this response. The first is that, somehow, during fall semester, we have no breaks other than a staff denigration - er, I mean development day and the usual holiday suspects: Labor Day (usually the second week of class: go-stop-go), and Thanksgiving Thursday and Friday. Oh, and that ever sacred first day of deer rifle season [*duelin' banjos in the background*].

But, spring semester - whoo-doggie. We get a "mid-semester" break in February, SD day in March, then a five-day "spring" break over the Easter weekend, and miscellaneous snow days (see previous post...). So, two breaks and then some. Now, add to this conference time - I'm going to two and missing a total of five days of work...and it's making me crazy!

I'm not sure where this comes from. Initially, in my youth, others connected it to the strong work ethic of my farming family background. But it was my parents who grew up on the farm, not me. Maybe it has something to do with the whole Catholic guilt thing. Funny how the guilt lingers long after the religion is gone... Even as a student in college, when free will dictated (oxymoron) that I could skip class whenever I pleased, I just couldn't do it. I was in every single possible class. I didn't "skip" unless I had a really, really good reason to do so (like being sick or having crammed a paper in the night before and being totally exhausted - even then I might just show up to sleep through class).

Now, as an instructor, I hate to miss class days. I feel an inordinate amount of guilt toward my students - that I am in some way letting them down by not being there, even though it's for good reason. I hate calling in sick, and probably never would if it weren't for my husband standing in the doorway saying, "You are not going to work today. You are too sick!" It literally takes someone else telling me before I will call in.

How do my students feel about my being gone? It's hard to tell. I think they are pleased to have a day off, but two? Three? Four? At a certain point I can sense that even they are feeling it's excessive - especially when I tell them if they miss x# of days they may be asked to drop the class.

It's also not as if I'm not working or am not responsible for some level of professional involvement when I'm away at a conference. I am. I have to be up and attending sessions - sometimes earlier than I would ever be in class - and going all day long for several days in a row. Even when teaching, I have "down time" in the day. At conferences, there is no such thing - with some having events that go well into the evening (and no, not at a bar).

Still, these are some tough feelings for me to resolve, and result in my trying to find a way to work with my students when I am away from campus all this time. Do I get a sub for classes? Do I just let them "off" for the days? Do I set up a BlackBoard system to keep in touch? At what point does my trying to compensate only further aggravate my students who will see it as nothing more than "busy work" to make up for my not being there in the first place? And at what point are they justified in their feeling they are not getting their money's worth for the class?

Next week is spring break, and immediately after that, I will be on plane to the AWP in Vancouver, CA. By then, I hope to have figured out a solution to this internal struggle. If not, I know from my last conference experience in Florida that once that plane lifts off, there's nothing more I can do about it. Time only moves forward, and so must I.